♥Evonne.O

Wednesday, October 17, 2012Y

17102012's

Been like a week since I last updated this blog.
Cos I've been busy updating the dairy by hand.
Penning down my thoughts every single day.
Though I promised to update my blog every day.
But somehow I feel that penning it down personally might be more sincere.

Haven been sleeping well the past few nights.
Been missing you so badly in my heart.
But I can't tell you.
Had a scary dream the other night.
I dreamt that I spoilt our Instax mini7.
Phew.
Luckily its all just a dream.

Woke up with a swollen thumb this morning.
So painful ):
How I wish that you are here to help me ease the pain.
But well, its all just but a wish.

Yours sincerely
♥

5:17 PM
愛情沒有對或錯，只有珍惜和錯過。

Wednesday, October 10, 2012Y

10102012's:

111th day of separation.
Are you still doing fine?
I hope you are.

Been having lack of sleep issues these few days.
And had been having talks with my friend with regards to you.
Every time after the talk,
I would somehow or rather, dream of you aftermath when I sleep.

My dreams are all about our past.
How happy we used to be,
How loving we used to be,
How bickering could go on and on between the two of us.
And many many many more.
Its all about us, around us.

I sometimes wonder too, do you have such dreams too?
&& if you have such dreams, do you,
wake up in the same situation like me?
face full of tears

Guess I'm just thinking too much.
I don't think that it would ever happen to you.
You are not like me,
you have already moved on and found new targets.
Whereas, I'm still staying on the same place.
Hoping that all these never once happened before.

I still, silently hope that you are still here with me.
&& that we have never broken up.
But I know that all these are just my wishful thinking.
I should face the reality soon.
&& move on with my damn life,
just like how you did it.

Yours sincerely
♥

6:14 PM
愛情沒有對或錯，只有珍惜和錯過。

Tuesday, October 09, 2012Y

09102012's:

been a few days since i last blogged.
today should have been our ~~16th month-sary~~.
but it has turn out to be a day that is hurting for me.

had a HTHT with a friend last night at Bedok Reservoir.
he mentioned.
"you are happier when you are with him. you had less worries on your face and more smiles instead."
true enough, I do not deny this fact.
This friend of mine said that he is very confident in bringing the two of us back together again.
I thank him for his effort.
but I kind of declined it.

Not that I do not trust him, but I do not have faith in myself.
I was having this image bubble in my mind,
when my friend told me that he would bring the two of us back together.
sit down face to face and have a nice chat.
I saw myself tearing so badly inside my imagination.
I couldn't picture out what if its real.

Today is the 109th day that we have since broken up.
How are you doing ? my friend.
I dare not ask about it.
I can only keep all these inside my heart.
and hoping that miracles would appear so that you could stumble upon my blog.

Though we are no longer together,
I still would like to say:
"Happy 16th months."
&&
17th months of knowing each other.
God knows how much I've been missing you.

Yours sincerely
♥

6:02 PM
愛情沒有對或錯，只有珍惜和錯過。

Friday, October 05, 2012Y

05102012's:

HAPPY 21st to ZTWS
hope you enjoy your special and awesome day and a great year ahead.

I guess you should have most probably received the card by now.
am still wondering how is your reaction upon seeing it.
text-ed you happy 21st a 1202hrs.
but you chose to ignore it.
your last online timing was 1212hrs.
&& you were online at the very moment when I sent it.
but well, kinda prepared for this though.
wasn't expecting for a reply anyway.

your Whatsapp status' totally killed.
"Chatting with her but she don't wanna reply. *sigh* loving someone sure is hard ..."
I know you are referring to her.
and I'm kinda jealous of her.
and envy-ing her.

but well.
I had my fair share of your love once before.
I just hope that your passion for this lady will not die off as soon as how yours died off for mine.
cos every single girl/lady/woman out there.
will be very naive to do something like believing in it.
&& I ~~used~~
to be one of them.maybe am still one right now.
who knows it anyway.

I know that you are celebrating your 21st @ Blk 406 today.
but the stupid sky is raining?
maybe cos the sky knows that I'm sad cos I'm unable to be there.
unable to celebrate it for you, unable to share your joy.

Nevertheless, I am still hoping that maybe one day you will stumble upon this blog.
&& know that I am still,
waiting for you at one corner all alone.

I won't purposely let people know of this blog.
I believe in Fate.
if we are meant to be back together again.
somehow you will,
find it, stumble upon it, see it, hear about it
in someway....

Till then, I will still do my best in updating this blog regularly.
So that when that day comes, you will know my utmost honest and deepest feeling from my heart..

Yours sincerely
♥

6:10 PM
愛情沒有對或錯，只有珍惜和錯過。

Wednesday, October 03, 2012Y

03102012's:

finally posted out the birthday card to you today.
kind of wondering what will you be thinking when you receive it.
what will your reaction be like?
will you read it?
will you dump it into the rubbish bin straight?
or or or...
you will realize that I'm the one who sent it and call me?

I do not dare to hope that you will be touched by that little card.
I do not dare to hope that this card alone will make you want to come back to my side.
all I ever want was, for us to be back ~~friends~~ once more.

I know its kinda impossible for this to happen.
It seems like you have already met with a new girl of your mind.
&& I'm just a forgotten person in your life.

am wondering the past few days.
how have you been doing recently.
are you still as into PIU as before?
as into UFO catchers as before?

Are there anyone except for your family members who are taking care of you?
have you been taking care of your health properly.
all these, pose as millions of question marks in my mind.

I really wish that I can be by your side to celebrate this special day with you.
But all I could do now is just to wish you Happy Birthday in my heart.
Nevertheless, I still hope miracle will take place.
and maybe, one day, we will get back together again.

Yours Sincerely
♥

E.O
phone line disconnected.
but despite me reconnecting it for him,
i'm still unable to reach him.
worrying what is happening to him.
but nvm, if we have to end this way, den shall be it.
if you wanna avoid me in this manner,
den let it be.
I'm really very sick and tired of trying means and ways to contact you already.
contact me when you want to.
or dont even need to if you do not want to.

5:19 PM
愛情沒有對或錯，只有珍惜和錯過。

Tuesday, October 02, 2012Y

02102012's:

bought a birthday card last evening.
wrote utter rubbish inside.
didn't even dare to leave my name and a return address.
am a coward ain't I?

I walked around Causeway Point alone last evening while waiting for Mom.
kept thinking of you.
keep having flashbacks of our past.
times where we will spend time together, even if it means just sitting beside you.

It's just 3 more days to your 21st.
I used your friend's facebook to check on yours.
I'm sorry. I know its your privacy but I just can't help it.

You have this post on your wall.
"How am I supposed to melt the iceberg that separate us"
How I wished this post is dedicated to me.
But I know I'm thinking too much.

To you, I'm just a person who has caused you unhappy moments.
Have you ever thought that you have also caused unhappy moments for me?
But I have chosen to forget the unhappy memories and only remember those happy ones!
why? cos I still have you in my heart and I dont know how to let go of you.

Maybe you will feel that whatever I am saying are bullshit.
But God knows that it's real.
I have never tried so hard to let go of someone but still failing to.
You are just so capable of haunting my brains, my mind with all your shadows.

People kept telling me its time to move on and let the past go.
I am trying real hard.
Right now, all I can do is just to whine to my blog.
as this is the only avenue that no one knows and you wont know.
and I can whine all I want.

Hopefully, I will be able to post the card out by tomorrow so that you will receive it before Friday or latest by Friday.

Yours sincerely
♥

6:12 PM
愛情沒有對或錯，只有珍惜和錯過。

Monday, October 01, 2012Y

01102012's:

On the last day September 2012, I decided to remove the ring on my fourth finger and trying to move on. However, memories keep haunting me and I feel real uneasy without the ring on.

In another 4 days, you will be celebrating your 21st. I still remembered how I told you my plans and ideas to celebrate it for you and I even promised you two awesome present for you. But right now, everything just have to be left behind and forgotten.

My Dear Friend, how are you doing now? I know that you don't even see me as a friend anymore. But I just can't help it but think of you. After all being together for 377 days isn't a very short period. I hope you are doing well and staying healthy.

Today marks the 102 days that we have since broke up. I hope everything is going well for you. People are telling me that I can't let go of you. Yes, I admit this and I do not deny. But I will still put up the front that I have already gotten over you and leading an absolutely ~~perfect-without-you-kind-of-life~~
as I do not want people around me to be worried.
The old Evonne Ong is ~~strong, independent and fast-to-get-over kind of girl~~
. I do not want them to see me weaken down after this relationship. I must stay as strong as before so that no one will be worried about me.

Despite trying to move on, I know that I can't and had failed badly. There are billions and millions of things that I want to let you know but never had the courage to do so. Even right now, I wish to call you and wish you Happy Birthday personally, I also can't pluck up my courage. Hence, I can only pen down all my thoughts here and hoping that maybe miracle will take place and you will see it.

ZTWS, though I know its absolutely hard for us to get back together again ( & I don't even dare to hope that it will happen), I still hope that you will achieve your goals and dreams step by step. Even though we will not be able to achieve our common vision and goals together, but I believe one fine day down the path/route, we will meet once more. And when that day comes, it will be the day we realized what we have missed out in each other's life and what we have lost when we left each other.

So, from now till then, you have my best wishes.
I will still keep you in a corner of my heart as you had really once made an impact in my life and I really did once, loved you.

Yours sincerely
♥

5:16 PM
愛情沒有對或錯，只有珍惜和錯過。