♥Evonne.O

Thursday, October 26, 2006Y

hmms...
another dae jux passed by lyk tiish.
wad shall ii do?
its seems lyk its passin so fast.
tym realli flies.
it does!

ii've been wonderiin.
wonderiin whether it is maii fault.
maii fault for falliin in love wiib yew.
do yew noe hw muchiie yew hurt miie?
again and again.
time n time.
it hurts okaes?
ii dunno whye.
ii jux dun feel lyk giivin up.
budd sometimes the things yew do realli make miie think twice.

shall ii jux move on wiibout yew?
ii dunno whether ii kann do it not.
ii jux hope ii kannt
cux ii dunwan.
ii dunwan to use others as subsitute.
ii kannt bring maiiself to do it.
ii jux kannt!

does aniione noe maii feeling?
ii feel tat wo gen ta norrt frwens liaox.
he seems to be avoiding miie.
n ii m doiin tat too.
whye?
kann aniione tell miie.
ii jux damm feel lyk cryiin out n scream out loud NOW!
aniibody kann lend miie their shoulders?
to lean on n cry
ii jux need someone to lean on.
ii m jux so worn out liaox.
ii kannt carry on wiib maii journey aniimore.

ii realli feel lyk endiin maii lyfe liaox.
ii dunwan to continue liaox.
so tired n worn out.
n kannort even get to rest.
at least jux for tiish little while.
oso kannort

iifb ii ever get to choose.
ii will still choose to noe yew.
budd norrt to love yew.
cux it hurts miie so muchiie tat
ii dun hab the courage to live on aniimore.
iits jux seems tat its all maii fault

imMature fifteen- sweet indulgence.

4:33 AM
愛情沒有對或錯，只有珍惜和錯過。

Saturday, October 21, 2006Y

came back frm maii appointment liaox.
as expected.
dad blew up his top.
wth lorrs.
ii did nth wrong n den i dunno whye.
he jux blew off his top.
told mum liaox.
kannort ask him accompany wan.
dun believe.

doc saes:
yurs seem lyk a case of migran.[dunno spell correct nt.]
so its no big deal.
da fact is tat i did nt tell the doc lots of things lorrs.
cux dad's ard.
so i didnt want to waste his tym.
so jux cut short everyting.
i recieve a sms frm him.
the results shld be gud to yew barrhs?
hhahahahahaes.
siianned.

dun feel lyk doiin aniitiink todae.
heng nt workiin lorrs.
iifb norrt die.
cux maii headache haben go awae.
since yesterdae night lorrs.
didnt wanna tell the doc.
cux dad's there.
so nvm larrhs.

iifb ii m ever given a chance to restart everything.

i wouldnt mind losing everyting jux in exchange ofb the single moment to be with yew.

cux ii realli do love yew!

4:08 AM
愛情沒有對或錯，只有珍惜和錯過。

Friday, October 20, 2006Y

tmr's maii appointment!
ii m beiin freaked out.
oh maii gossh...
daddiie's accompanyiin miie.
ii didnt wan tat!
whuu will understand miie!
ii dun wan mauii daddiie by maii side.
ii jux wiish ii didnt had to face him all the time.
cux ii dunno hw to.

todae's jux another bad dae ferr miie.
esp when maii mood iish alreadii so low.
mdm lee came to our class.
she wanted to see all the 11 failures of SS.
suck her.
she wan us to re-take till we pass.
iifb nt:
no report book.
wtf.
fuck her upside down larrhs.
shit lorrs.
tat would mean i would not get to enjoy liaox.
siianx.
she said mon iish the retest.
den i tell her i kannt make it.
she says: yaya. yew are full of excuses.
half of the time yew are nt in skool.
still gt the cheek to tell miie yew gt study.
nvm den.
suan lerrhs.
study den show her.
make her dumbfounded.

ii m happily chattin awae wiib jonathan.
he's sending miie all the soundtrack of gong-princess hours.
so niice ofb him ritex?
hhehehehehes...
tiish made maii mood a bit better.
at least nt as bad as jux nw liaox.
hhahahahahaes.
gtg liaox.
jux hope tat tmr's results wun be too shockiing.
ii hope it will be smth ii expected.
at least ii m mentally prepared.
rite?

iifb ever given a chance to restart
ii would norrt regret knowing yew.
cux yew are the one whuu light up maii lyfe n made miie smile upon thiinkin offb yew.
tym iish all ii niid.
ii swear nt to let go ofb maii happiness aniimore.

6:29 AM
愛情沒有對或錯，只有珍惜和錯過。

Thursday, October 19, 2006Y

dun sae sorrie when yew did nth wrong.
it makes the person gulity.
okaes?
yew realli did nth wrong.
so dun blame yurself.
cux its all maii own doiings.
jux dun blame yurself n concentrate one yur studies.

hmms...
todae iish a sunny dae lorrs...
at least not so hazy.
jux hope it will norrt worsen by the afternoon.
lets pray tat it wun.
cux ii m gettin irriated liaox.
actually wanted to upload photos wan.
budden no tym liaox.
so next tym den up load liaox lorrs.
hhahahahaes...

todae iish a bonus off dae for all.
cux its promotion dae.
so scary
wad if ii kannt get promoted?
dunno lorrs.
siianx...
so hungry nw.
todae sleep till so late den wake up.
so everytiings gonna be in a rush.
ltr still need do library.
needa return some books.
hhahahahahaes...
gtg liaox.
come back again tmr.
cya ard!

ii realli hope ii will hab da chance to hold yew tight
iifb ii m ever giben tat chance.
i will norrt let go offb yew aniimore!

2:48 AM
愛情沒有對或錯，只有珍惜和錯過。

Wednesday, October 18, 2006Y

yeah!!!
tmr no skool!
off dae for miie liaox...
kann slp lyk a piggy liaox...

sry...
ii noe ii shld norrt do tiish...
budden ii kant help it...
tiish iish frm yur friendster blog:

You are the love of my life. There never has been or never will be anyone in my life as special as you. I want to hold you, worship you and make you the happiest woman who ever lived!
I just want you to know that I love you even more than the day that we first met at. I remember how i looked at you.
I am totally devoted to you. Since you have become part of my life, I have become a better man. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love you.
Before I met you my days were dull and colourless. Then you came and lit up my entire world with your bright shining soul. I've looked forward to each and every single day that I get to spend with you on this earth. That's because, you bring out the best in me. Just one smile from you gives me the strength to go on. Your love for me supercharges me with an almost supernatural lust for life and power.
Without you, my dear, I would simply be lost. You are one of a kind, there is no one in the world like you. You are my one and only, my reason to be alive. You are my soul mate. Every morning I wake up and hope and pray that I will be able to spend at least a few moments in your arms by the end of the day. I yearn for kisses which are more precious to me than anything else in the world..
I can't thank you enough for being a part of my humble life. I know that I am a better person for knowing you. For being able to look in your eyes, to touch your beautiful face, your skin, and see you smile. There will always be a special place you will hold deep in my heart, and I will always cherish in my memories, the smile in your eyes, the softness of your lips and the joy in your laughter. Remember I told you once that to be your friend was all I ever wanted... to be your lover was more than I ever dreamed.... Thank you for making my dreams come true.
When we're together, I finally feel whole and complete. You make me see the beauty in everything and everyone, and I just wanted you to know how much I adore you and appreciate what we share. Thanks to you I wake up every day feeling like the luckiest man in the world! You are simply the best!
I love you

i admit.
ii am sad.
do you noe hw muchiie it hurts miie upon readiin tiish?
i admit.
ii do lyk yew alot.

another of yur post goes lyk tiish:
Shell-shocked,speechless,enraged,disappointed,downcast,oppressed..hiax..pls don hurt me again...don pretend to care if u really don intend to... don come into my life again..u just made mi more joyless..ur wavering concern made me felt perplexed. for a long time, i tot it was over. but i was wrong. i was so appalled to face it. it just felt so victimised and distressed...i felt as if a sudden storm had awakened all my fears..the storm rages..the recollections of my mind wad too painful to bear..

ii wan to see a happiie yew.
nt a sad wan
yew told miie to take things in maii stride.
ii m tryiin to.
yet ii get to see all these in yur blog.
wth iish tiish?
dun ever use O levels as an excuse.
cux i dun tiink i will trust yew.
although ii noe the stress iish big.
ii trust tat yew kann handle it.

the haze iish makiin maii eyes painful.
ii kannt hardly open maii eyes as big as b4.
ii feel the stichiin pain.
it hurts lots.
even when ii cry.
it also hurts miie lots.
ii dunno whye
maybii its jux a sign tat ii m goiin blind?
ii wonder.
maii appointment iish comiin liaox.
ii dun hab the courage.
cux ii m afraid.
who noes whether ii will be able to wake up tmr morning.
ii dunno.
onli god noes.

maii overall results
L1R4: 16
L1R5:22
n they never include maths for miie.
hhahahahaes...
ii fail maths wib an F9.
nice?
kkekekekes.
dunno whye.
jux felt lyk cryiin out loud.
budd kannt
cux ii mux bii strong.
at least for nw.
cux i dun wanna admit defeated so badly.
i kannt afford to admit defeated by all these dumb dumb problems.
cux ii wun!

kann yew promiise miie tat yew will be strong n live on?
dun let aniitiink interfere iin yur studiies at this moment?
juc concentrate.
yur national exams are here soon.
good luck!
ii will be supporting yew.

iifb one dae ii kannt be found iin anii corner aniimore.
dun bother to look for miie.
cux ii am alreadi dead.
budd ii wl continue to bless those whuu ii noe.
cux they will forever bii iin maii heart.

6:10 AM
愛情沒有對或錯，只有珍惜和錯過。

Tuesday, October 17, 2006Y

halo...
i never attend skool todae...
jux becux ii wake up den go back to slp again...
so ii missed maii alarm..
den when i wake up again...
its alreadii 7am...
irony eh?
ii actually woke up at 5.15am todae lorrs...
den was so tired...
so went back to slp againx...

yesterdae night msg HIM...
i asked him...
ii gorrt one fren whuu iish in love wiib a guy...
wad shld maii tiish fren do.
he said confess...
den i told him...
maii fren did liaox...
den tat guy lyk act nth has happend b4...
so wad nw?
he said...
den dun go any further...
remain as frens would be the best...
i told him to make a guess whuu tiish gal was...
and i promised to put the answer in maii blog.
so. the answer iish
the gal iish miie...
so hw?
shocked or surprised or expected?
do you know hw muchiie ii m hurt by yur words?
ii wouldnt noe hw to face yew againx...

ii didnt expect the person to hurt miie most will be yew...
budd since it iish a fact.
ii will learn hw to accept the fact...
all ii wiish nw iish to be able to forget the words yew said.
ii wan maii headache to go awae too.
its killin miie soon.
ii dunno hw muchiie longer ii kann fight wiib it...
budden ii will still try maii verii best.
even though ii realli feel lyk endiin maii lyfe.
ii will try maii verii best to fight wiib tiish headache.
cux ii still gorrt maii dreams which haven come true.
ii wan maii dreams to come true.
hopefully...
ii will be able to make those dreams come true one dae.

ii have a couple of maii results wiib miie...
maii history: 35/50
maii mother tongue: 71/100
maii biology: 68/100
wtf lorrs...
2 aces budden i b
nvm...
maths will surely pull maii score down.
ii will norrt give up maii maths aniimore...
ii wanna pass n go into maii dream course.

2:16 AM
愛情沒有對或錯，只有珍惜和錯過。

Monday, October 16, 2006Y

halo...
back to postiin...
todae iish a bad dae for miie...
ii cried early in the morning...
cux of smth in kfc tat made miie feel sad...

ii jux didnt noe whye...
ii dun feel lyk holdiin it on aniimore...
ii am so worn out...
jux lyk staeiin iin e rain for more than a milliion daes...

todae was so worn out...
too early wake up den yesterdae so late slp...
dunno wads gotta over miie too...
ii jux feel so sad...
ii noe ii n HIM iish impossible liaox...
so ii m tryiin get over him soon...
hope everyone will support miie iin tiish long n tough journey...
ii noe its gonna be tough on miie...
ii hope ii kann survive it through!

10:09 AM
愛情沒有對或錯，只有珍惜和錯過。

Thursday, October 12, 2006Y

wow!!!
ii went to Vivo City last evening!
was so huge lorrs...
ii took abt 3 hrs or so to lyk walk one whole round of Vivo City...
den still neber realli sae finish the whole centre...
went there wiib mummiie, daddiie n jie jie lorrs...
so big...

todae iish a no skool dae!!!
yeah!!!
cux markiing dae marrhs...
hhahahahahaes...
so gud lorrs...
kann slp till late late
budden the idoitic pig...
wake miie up so early...
shag siia...
ltr wanna go ah ma there...
go visit them n return her her clothes...
sge wan wear den at maii hse...

okaes...
haowei accepted miie!
hhahahahaes...
yesterdae chat wiib him...
quite a nice person to chat wiib actually...
hhahahahahaes...
he shld bii quite socialable barrhs??
hhahahahahaes...

everytinks back to normal?
ii m norrt realli sure.
aniione kann help miie out of darkness?
ii realli dun wanna stae iin darkness aniimore...
ii hate darkness n lonliness.
n ii dun lyk the feelin ofb being left out.
ii swear never to put maiiself in aniione's problem aniimore.
ii wanna strive hard to buy a laptop.
tats maii aim for nw!

11:50 PM
愛情沒有對或錯，只有珍惜和錯過。

hii!!!
ii m back again!
to postiin!

todae, we had a series of career talk by NP,PTC learning school,TP & RP.
most worst presentation prize: RP [cux e main speaker wasnt ard...][no offence]
best presentation prize: NP lorrs...
2nd best presentation prize: PTC learning school
was lyk didnt quite bother muchiie at frist...
cux the courses offered by RP iish lyk: norrt maii cup of tea.
so didnt wan to listen so muchiie...
however, when it came to the TP wan...
was excited!
cux it was talking abt TOURISM & HOTEL MANAGEMENT.
which ii did wan to study in.
budden the COP was: 11
so gave up.
cux niid to at least get an A2 for everything!!!
wth lorrs...
so gave up.

budden tiish iish an aspect which realli interest miie alot larrhs...
cux iim interested in tourism.
so, no choice
nvm aniiwae...
den after recess, we had a talk frm the PTC learning school.
PTC stands for : Parent-Teacher-Child lorrs...
its a private school basically.
budden its recongised by MOE lorrs...
dunno lehx...
its main field of focus is on Early Childhood development.
quite similar to wad i want to do.
and its the onli diploma subject which doesnt have a min requirement for maths
so. kann consider.
budden tiish aspect onli nee ann hab.
so iif ii were to choose tiish.
ii have to go alll the wae to NP.
budden nvm.

den comes the NP talk.
they talk abt real estate management, logistics management, nursing, early childhood development n mass communication.
so was lyk so engrossed into listening abt the nursing and early childhood development.
quite nice actually.
den i went to ask the lecturer[maybii?]
is it a MUST to pass maths for nursing
guess wad?
its a yes.
tat means. i will have to work extra hard liaox.
haiish...
nvm...
i will work hard towards maii goal.
aniiwae, the COP iish 26 for priority intake.
28 for normal intake.
so quite easy.
nt tat demanding as tourism.
so kann consider nursing n early childhood development.
hhahahahahaes.

todae maii mood norrt bad larrhs..
budden b4 recess was so tense.
cux the COP ferr tourism.
btw, COP= cut off point
didnt expect it to be so high lorrs.
so was lyk quite tense
heng after recess found hope in studies.
so i will work extra hard frm nw on!!!

5:40 AM
愛情沒有對或錯，只有珍惜和錯過。

Wednesday, October 11, 2006Y

exams finish liaox!!!

sh0o damm happiie lorrs!!!
kkekekekes...
cux at least someting gorrt off maii mind liaox...[temporary]
gotta get back to studiies once results out...
cux our teacher wanna finish wadever iish possible...
so tat we would have sufficient time to revise next year...
so niice of them...

todae went to view people's profile on friendster...
den saw his profile...
tat dae went to aljunied to eat dinner...
cux maii frwen there derrhs si tuan tua li zi...
den go there eat...
hhhahahhaes...
den saw tiish guy...
so was lyk viewiin shu qi derrhs profile...
den his profile caught maii attention...
so went to add him...
hhahahahaes...

aniiwae...
ii went to watch "rob b hood"todae..
a nice n touchin show...
e baby verii cute worrs!!!
mux go watch...
its worth!!!
hhahahahaes...
netx moviie ii wanna watch: the prestige, WTC n silk...
silk iish ghost moviie...
so mux go wiib more ppl....
iifb norrt ltr ii diie worrs...
hhahahahaes...

tiink maii mood gettin better liaox barrhs?
hope so too...
maii next appointment comin liaox...
20/10/2006...
e doc wan miie do brain scan...
budden lyk verii ex lehx...
these few daes headache till verii jia lat lehx...
dunno wad to do...
jux have to listen to the heaven barrhs?
iifb iits maii fate to kena all sorts ofb illness...
den ii gorrt nth to sae liaox...
ii will jux listen to maii fate...

ii jux wanna sae it out loud...
lyfe without HIM* iish imperfect!
maybii he iish jux whye ii kiip fightin to live on...
who noes?
maybii another dae someone will jux bring miie awae?
to a farawae place where ii kannt see HIM* maii frwens n maii precious things again?
ii dunchx want tat to happen...
budden ii gorrt no control over such things...
so...
ii hope everyone will rmb tiish:
learn to treasure wadever yew have.
dun wait till yew lose it liaox.
den wanna fight back...
its pointless.
ever heard of tiish: shi qu derrhs bu neng chong lai?
its means wadever is lost, kannorrt return to the start liaox...
i hope yew all wun face tiish situation...
jux treasure wadever yew have.
learn to appreciate them.
DUN TAKE IT FOR GRANTED!

10:23 AM
愛情沒有對或錯，只有珍惜和錯過。

Tuesday, October 10, 2006Y

6:50 PM
愛情沒有對或錯，只有珍惜和錯過。

tats the end! ii m norrt gonna care so muchiie liaox!
ii dunchx care whether wad yew thiinkiin liaox...
might as well kill miie wiib yur leng mo!

everyone out there...
dun worry too muchiie...
ii m jux beiin crazy liaox...
ii m back to self-mutilation...
ii nv use pen knife...
tiish tym round, ii used comb!
clever horrs?
kann torture maiiself n wun let ppl noe...
so easy...

ii realli dunno wad's gotta into miie...
tmr iish maii last paper liaox...
so sort of happiie...
budden...
ii m prepared to flunk maths liaox...
todae the maths paper two so difficult lorrs...
so...
sure fail wan...

wo hao xiang yong yuan dou xi guan bu liao mei you ta*
ii tiink god noes whye...
ii jux kannt put HIM* aside n study first...
so ii dunno wad ii wan...
aniione kann tell miie?

ii asked hilimi againx...
ii asked him
iisit true ii dun hab future wiib HIM*
hilimi said: yesh...
omg...
den he should norrt sae its possible at first...
make miie so high...
den low again..
haiish....

ii m workiin hard towards maii last paper...
tmr will end maii nightmare liaox...
budden iits jux temporary...
fri will be results daes!
ii m afraid...
budden wad kann ii do?
so jux nvm...
ii m oso workiin towards maii future!
ii wan to lead to lyfe ii wan iin maii own wae!!!

5:05 AM
愛情沒有對或錯，只有珍惜和錯過。

Friday, October 06, 2006Y

ii m back!!!
finally finish maii geog,ss,chem,poa paper 1,maths paper 1,mt paper 1 liaox...
yesterdae study geog till CRY lorrs... toopid ritex...
ii dunno whye suddenly so emotional..
budden jux verii sad...
cux everytiink study yesterdae afternoon...
after maii nap n dinner all forget liaox...
den at night wan study...
nth kann go in...
sad....
den CRY lorrs...

tmr gorrt poa paper 2 n mt paper 2...
after tat...
maii maths paper 2,history paper n bioogy...
den everything over!!!
budden still niid study...
cux kannorrt lag...
den todae go ask abt maii chem...
teacher sae "it was an unrealistic miie"
all so kan chiong wan....
den dunno iish good or bad larrhs...
mux wait till results out...
den noe...
iifb realli norrt gud...
kann go die liaox...
study so hard...

ii didnt noe ii miised HIM* so muchiie lorrs....
jux noe tat abt yesterdae...
when ii broke down n cry...
tats whye...
den todae came online...
actually mummiie dun allow wan...
den tell her tmr iish mt paper 2 n poa lorrs...
nth muchiie to study...
den she let miie use...
tats whye kann come here blog!!!

yesterdae went to aljunied...
maii gud sista belinda there derrhs xin tuang qian qui...
den ii go there...
budden mood verii low...
den saw a guy whuu look lyk edmund verii muchiie...
budden dun realli have the mood...
dunno larrhs...
todae maii eyes still so swollen lorrs...
so painful...
realli cry too muchiie liaox...

nowadaes derrhs lyfe verii boriing...
dunno do wad good...
maybii iits better off iifb ii diie...
realli lorrs...
so siianx..
gorrt lyfe lyk no lyfe lyk tat...
realli iish diie den gud...

5:40 AM
愛情沒有對或錯，只有珍惜和錯過。

Tuesday, October 03, 2006Y

最后一次

在我最后一次闭上眼睛之前
我想对你说我爱你
在你怀里舍不得放弃
心里有千万语还没说给你听

我使劲全力不想闭上眼睛
这次告别就不能再相遇不能再陪你
但不要忘记
你曾经答应我你会好好活下去

先走了去了好远的地方
不能再陪你看日出
等不到天亮
所有回忆没去却并不容易
生死由天决定不要太伤心
在我最后一次闭上眼睛之前
我想对你说我爱你
在你怀里舍不得放弃
心里有千万语还没说给你听

我使劲全力不想闭上眼睛
这次告别就不能再相遇不能再陪你
但不要忘记
你曾经答应我你会好好活下去
我永远爱你
by:lovynn kan

gt tuhh noe tiish song frm hui fenn they all...
niice song...
tiish gal gorrt a sweet voice...
iish a 17 years old gal...
hhahahahahaes...

another niice song iish by xu jie er wan...
iish call wo ke yi ren shou lorrs...
feel tat ii kann totally put maiiself iin tat position...
fully...
feel damm sadden when ii hear tiish two songs...
dunno whye oso...
maybii tiish two songs remind miie ofb him?
dunno...
ii m jux a dummy whuu dunno hw to treasure things...
aniiwae...
ii jux wanna realli apologise to him...
SORRIE!
hope yew gorrt see tiish...
realli hope nii you kann dao...
cux ii m feelin gulity...
tat few daes iim lyk dunno wad happen larrhs...

ii realli dunno when den ii kann forget abt unhappy things...
maybii it jux takes all ofb maii whole lyfe to do it...
or maybii even till the dae ii die oso kant...
so jux let nature takes it course???
dunno...
maybii jux let tym heal everytiink iin maii mind...
or maybii even let smth else take over???
is it possible???
jux hope everthing will bii fine soon...

ii wan someone to care for miie!
norrt someone whuu kann onlii add to maii wound!
ii dun wanna get hurt aniimore!
save miie please!

9:48 AM
愛情沒有對或錯，只有珍惜和錯過。