♥Evonne.O

Saturday, August 29, 2009Y

D
this might be or might not be the last post that your name will appear here .
it all depends on what fate has in store for the both of us .
i saw u smiling so sweetly to her
just like how you did to me last time.
i knew you were into her .
my heart ached so much
till the extend that i felt like crying on the spot .
but i didnt.
i donte wanna drop a single tear infront of you anymore .
it just shows that how weak i am .
and i will not show to you how much you mean in my heart .
cause i donte wante you to feel guilty after these
i really hope that you will find your future soon .
as for me
i will just try to move on with life .
thanks for the memories .

1:07 AM
愛情沒有對或錯，只有珍惜和錯過。

Friday, August 28, 2009Y

hihi (:
im back again !

just ended work at banquet at 1 plus am .
lols .
set up the whole ballroom for tom use .
den went for supper at canteen .
WOOTSS ~
the food is great .

im effing tired now lahs .
but my stomach is still growling .
despite the meal i had 2 hrs ago .
sighs *shakeshead*
high metabolism i guess .
puberty mahs .
HAAAAS .

went to pass laopo cardigan after i alighted infront of prata .
the weather now is superb for sleeping =X
haas .
just rained not long ago .
but the sad thing is my hair is still wet .
cause i just bath mahs .
so i smell SUPER NICE lahs .
LOLS (:

actually thought of gg supper with friends de.
but it seems like no one feels like getting out of their house cause of the weather .
lols .
work was great today overall .
first time doing western dinner .
and i swear .
the desert is so DAMN DELICIOUS lahs .
some of the guest actually gave it a miss .
whereas some actually didnt even eat .
WTF .
food wastage ):

D , have you been following my blog lately .?
i guess not right .
you are so busy .
till the extend that you only sleep for 4 hours daily .
i really pity you .
i really wish that i can share some of your burden .
but i'm in no position to do that .
i really wish that nothing took place 9 days ago .
and we are still enjoying our days together holding our hands .
the sense of security you gave me is so huge that even till now ,
i can still remember it so vividly .
everything is so clear in my mind .
as though nothing has took place .
every morning when i wake up ,
the first thought was to text you .
every single time when i wanted to go out ,
the first thought was informing you .
every single time when my mood is bad ,
the first one i thought of was you again .
but i know its an irrevisible change .
the fact that we've choosen a mutual breakup is always there .
the fact that the tears i dropped for you has been never ending is always there .
but now ,
i can only turn to my blog ,
and rant it out here .
hopping silently in my heart that ,
one day ,
we will lock our hands once again .

3:06 AM
愛情沒有對或錯，只有珍惜和錯過。

Thursday, August 27, 2009Y

back with my nonsense for the day .
lols -.-

basically
did nth much of meaning today .
fell asleep infront of my com with the lappy on.
woke up at 6 plus to shut down .
and then sleep till 4 plus .
lols -.-
bath, had dinner with parents and went to collect my flats !
heh .
love it lots (:

aftermath ,
went to sintua .
reached ard 6 plus i guess .
did a whole lot of things
like preparing the ink.
make till my whole hand black black -.-
stayed till 11 plus den went off .
daniel ah kor came to fetch us (:

went to meet up with belina laopo .
she is having the worse time now .
i've never seen such unreasonable guy can .
so what if she's going to hold a higher qualification than you .?
its for her own good .
my godness
if she's not going to study now ,
den when .?
till the day when she turn old .?
or till the day when people starts to comment her .?
its impt to have qualification in singapore .
FKING important .
no one has the right to stop her from studying .
not even her parents .
what right do you have .?!
@#@!$$^%*%^*&!

sighs.
it's been 8 days .
and yet .
i still cant let go .
i may look like im alr on the surface .
but no one knows what its like to cry for no reason .
my thoughts wasnt about him .
but just some little things can make me think of him .
and then the tears came along .
i kept wiping it off ,
but it just keep coming .
till the extend that i do not feel like wiping it off anymore.
D , is there really no chance we can be together again once more .?
i promise , this time round ,
the feeling will defintely be right .
whye must you be a coward .
face yourself .
the feeling is always right .
but you claimed that its not cause you haven gotten over M
stop using this as an excuse to hurt me.
seriously ..
im not the only who feels this way .
even my friend ,
also says that the feeling is always there
just that you chose to hide from it .

somehow ,
the things that we've done before is living in my mind .
the places we've been to before,
the words and sentences that you said to me before .
how we held our hands in public ,
how we kissed each other in a park ,
how i indulge in lying on your shoulder ,
how i talk to you about our future ,
how you told me what your future dreams are like .
i can remember even single detail .
the way you encourage me to go back to studies ,
the way you quarrelled with elvis just because he kept pestering me .
the way you hug me ,
the way you look at me .
every single thing ,
its living in my mind every single second .
i just cant forget so easily .
im sorry .
i know that i promised you that i'll stay strong
but i cant .
im breaking down anytime .
i need you by my side D
seriously ,
i need you by my side .
im seeing the signs of breaking down .
its exactly like what took place 2 years ago .
cry cry cry cry non stop.
and finally when i couldnt take it .
i chose the easy way out .
but i didnt die.
i donte wante this to happen again
honestly .
I DONTE WANTE THIS TO HAPPEN AGAIN.
will you stay by me .?
and walk with me through this journey .?

1:51 AM
愛情沒有對或錯，只有珍惜和錯過。

Wednesday, August 26, 2009Y

HAPPY BIRTHDAY D !
may all your wishes come true (:
stay young , handsome and cheerful as ever (:
friends forever !
hope you enjoy your nights out today !

anw .
went to work today .
was fun !!!!
did lunch buffet , and then turnover .
prepared for tml's lunch buffet .
180 PAX !
cleaned dinner forks , dinner spoons .
desert spoons , desert forks ,
teaspoons , teacups , saucer , multi purpose glasses .
lols (:

sighs .
belinda laopo say that she not working this friday .
cause of some reasons .
never mind .
shall go alone ):

anw ,
bought my flats .
going to collect tml afternoon .
like finally (:
but my pay gone le ):
nvm ,
thurday working again .
den will have pay le (:

what shall i get for D for his birthday .?
he ask me not to get him anything cause i not working .
but i got work part time ahs .
sighs
*shakeheads*

12:00 AM
愛情沒有對或錯，只有珍惜和錯過。

Monday, August 24, 2009Y

my blog's hungry .
and im here to feed it :)

D asked me to stop waiting .
i guess what he said was right .
sometimes ,
friends are better off than couples .
we are able to talk more freely as friends .
no stress or whatever .
so i guess .
i shall just move on eh .?
everyone is asking me to do this .

didnt went to work today -.-
wasted my 13 hrs standing there yesterday .
cause no pay ):
sins 1/2 can.
sighs .
nevermind .
blame myself .
cause i got this headache .
den overslept .
lols !

anw ,
happy 21st birthday to Hazel , Raymond and Leon :)

12:57 AM
愛情沒有對或錯，只有珍惜和錯過。

Friday, August 21, 2009Y

here to feed my blog's craving :)

went to visit grandma .

but went to meet up with my uncle and granddad first .

bus-ed to interchange t take train first .

cried -.-

im so fking useless can ....

just that stupid song ,

"Have You Ever" by S Club 7

i teared .

on the bus .

on the train towards city hall .

i teared again .

WTH .

i am so fking useless lahs .

promised not to tear .

and yet i keep tearing .

while watching show last night .
it was supposed to be a funny thing
but i tear again .
for no rhyme or reason ,
i keep tearing
i tear at every single thing which could bring memories of you to me.

i promised to be stronger .

i promised to be more sensible .

i promised to wait silently in a corner .

but it seems that im losing out.

everything just seems to go in the opposite direction of what im doing .

but i believe,

that with the power of the love i have for you ,

i will be able to overcome all the obstacles infront of me.

this is because ,

i strongly believe .
time will prove everything .

i donte care whether i will face any objections anot ,

all i know is ,

you , D , is VERY VERY IMPORTANT to me .

i'm mentally prepared to face the objections .

i'm prepared to walk down this tough road myself .,

or maybe , you D, will be by my side ,

walking together with me hand in hand :)
*5 more days*

7:32 PM
愛情沒有對或錯，只有珍惜和錯過。

it seems like im so hardworking this few days uh .?
LOLs .
of course lahs .
i wante to update my daily thoughts here .
'll never know when D will be reading my post :)

did nothing much of use today .
slept till 4pm -.-
pig me =X
anw ,
went to eunos today with family .
aftermath went to 445 for supper .?
or rather a late dinner
saw D there .
heart raced .
but i donte know what did it raced for .
*sighs*

shall be meeting up with yulin baby tml :)
its been like 987654321 months that i havent been catching up with her.
heh .
but before that needa go visit grandma first.
so shall turn in early tonight .?
we shall see bahs .

haven been getting a good night sleep .
was wondering and pondering over issues that have been resolved .
been reading this book - To Forget You by Low Kay Hwa
this isnt the first time im reading this book .
its like the 54321 time .?
lols .
a few things inside the book keeps ringing in my head .
- "if there's love , there's hope."
- "love; it can make you smile for the rest of your life , but it can also make you cry for the rest of your life."
- "why are we always taking the risk , and even plunge futher into the river of love when we know we are going to drown in sorrow .?"
- "what matters most is not how long the love will last , but how deep it has been."
- "you don't forget true love , you just don't remember."
i actually offered to lend D this book .
but since he got no time to read it ,
i will just post up those that is necessary here .
cause , its because of all these things that rings in my mind ,
which made me pluck up the courage to offer this book to you .
but since you have no time .
i shall summarise it bit by bit here .
because , i believe that you will read my blog someday :)
and i believe the things that im doing will win you back bit by bit
and by that time ,
we will hold our hands together once again .
ave maria
*5 more days to your birthday*

1:15 AM
愛情沒有對或錯，只有珍惜和錯過。

Thursday, August 20, 2009Y

*some minor eidts for the previous post .*
i got together with my current guy a few days ago
so far ,after JY;
no guy was able to give me this huge sense of security
till now , i found him <33
i will never wanna let him go .
thats whye im doing so much things ,
just for the sake of building our future .
i wante this to work out :)
yep, i did found him .
but for this ,
i needa wait .
reason behind ,
belinda laopo know it best .
i'll never let go of you ,D
i'll be here ,
right at the spot where we started everything ,
just to wait for you .
i will show you in actions ,
instead of words . <33

its a hurtful issue afterall .
i donte wish to mention it here .
we did not breakup or something like that .
both of us just needed more time to cultivate this feeling :)
guys ,
im alright .
REALLY ALRIGHT .
nobody is going to worry for me alright .?
not even YOU , D
no one is at fault .

went dinner with D this evening
heh . :)
was fking full after that meal lahs . =X
he treated me like a pig can .
keep asking me to eat =p
aftermath ,
went to sintua .
saw a girl ,
older than me .
but in my previous plight .
talked to her .
hopefully she will change and listen .
its still not too late if u wanna turn back .
trust me :)

the chinese 7th month is here .
grandma's 3rd year anniversary is going to be here in 12days later .
1st sept .
i really cant bring myself to accept that grandma has been gone for 3 FKING years.
after grandma's anniversary,
mommy's birthday will be here .
12th oct .

visted granny today at TTSH .
she's left with bones and skin .
i really mean it .
my heartached .
but i didnt mentioned much .
i really wante to make things right once again .
REALLY .
i regretted so much .

am i handling things and emotions in the right way .?
D , i know you will be reading this .
i really wanna make things right once again .
i feel so FKING lost now .
no one knows how 'm feeling now .
no one knows what i want now except for you .
but ., we need the space and time to cultivate out the right feeling .
'll show you what i said ,
through my actions .
'll tell you that you did not choose the wrong person .
'll show you that everything that i promised you will be done .
all these ,
are my promise towards you .
for the sake of me changing into a better person ,
and for the sake of ~~our~~ the future .
i really really treasure you alot ,
and yes ,
you are someone who is VERY VERY important to me.
i didnt dared to tell you cause i donte wanna add on burden to your life.
but it was untill just now ,
when i silently thought over things ,
i realised .
you have already took up the whole space in my heart .
I LOVE YOU <33

1:41 AM
愛情沒有對或錯，只有珍惜和錯過。

Wednesday, August 19, 2009Y

hi all .
im back (:
like finally duhs . -.-
anw .
alot of things took place recently.
it cost me a r/s which i treasured alot .
its not that type of BGR thingy .
i donte wish to harp on it either .
sighs .

anw .
am attached.
everyone was shocked .
lols :)
belinda laopo told me
"u changed alot of this guy"
yep i did .
im in the process of being a good girl.
trying to cut down on CIGs,
trying to cut down on contacts with guys .
and most importantly ,
i promised not to drink .

it seems that i treasure this guy alot isnt it .?
i've never had this urge before
it seems that i've got no one to turn to .
its not like in the past ;
i ~~got~~ my bitch .
everything just disappeared in a moment.
*POOF* and off it went.

i got together with my current guy a few days ago
so far ,
after JY;
no guy was able to give me this huge sense of security
till now , i found him <33
i will never wanna let him go .
thats whye im doing so much things ,
just for the sake of building our future .
i wante this to work out :)

life's been teaching me alot of lessons recently.
i realised i've missed out so many good things in life.
i realised i've missed out in alot of people's life.
i hope that now that im turning back ,
its still not too late .
i wante everything to turn out right .
i wante my life to be back on the right track .
i wante everything to be back in its original shape.
i hope im able to do so .
may god give me that kind of determination
i know i will.
for the sake of our future.
baby , iloveyou <33

2:22 AM
愛情沒有對或錯，只有珍惜和錯過。

Tuesday, August 04, 2009Y

am i a prisoner or something like that .?
every single movement of mine is being restricted.
every place i go, im being followed.
WTF .
im old alrd alr.
get your senses right.

yep.
i might have done somethings wrong.
but there isnt such a need right .?
im being cut off contact from the outside world.
phone confiscated.
being grounded at home.
aint this enough .?
yes,
you all may say that i still young.
but i am able to look after myself right .?

say till so nice,
wanna give me another chance.
end up leas .?
fking treat me as a wad .?
young kid .?
or someone who is with down syndrome .?
please.
i had enough.
im going crazy soon !

sighs.
at home use youtube also wrong.
WTF .
idk lahs.
maybe like what i used to say.
in the whole whiteboard,
once there is a black dot.
everyone will only focus on the black dot.
sighs*
wonte talk about this anymore.
just hope that i will regain my freedom soon.

went to TTSH to visit my grandma today.
she wasnt in very good shape
*so am i* =/
just hope that she will recover soon .?
thats all i can do.
granddad gave me money.
but was being returned by mum. =(
sighs.
so from today onwards.
im a penniless IDOIT.
ROFL .
the past EVONNE is GONE.
*POOF* & gone...

คิดกลับ
ฉันควรพับฐาน
ฉันไม่ต้องการสิ่งที่หันออกด้วยวิธีนี้.

แต่ฉันได้ไม่มีทางเลือก.

หากฉันสามารถย้อนเวลา,

ฉันต้องการเลือกที่จะไม่ทราบว่าคุณ.
เพราะการกระทำของท่านทำให้หัวใจของฉันบาดเจ็บ .
ฉันควรมีรู้จักก่อนหน้านี้ .
Thinking back
Should I give up.
I do not want things to turn out this way.
But I have no choice.
If I can turn back time,
I would choose not to know you.
Because your action makes my heart hurt.
I should have known earlier.

8:45 PM
愛情沒有對或錯，只有珍惜和錯過。

Sunday, August 02, 2009Y

to all fellow peeps !
DO NOT TEXT OR CALL ME THIS FEW DAYS TILL I PUT A NOTICE HERE
MY PHONE IS BEING CONFISCATED.
FOR SOME DUMB REASONS -.-

knn .
everyone chooses to sentence me to death
not giving me another chance
yes i know.
i did something very wrong.
but
at least give me a chance can .?
let me explain.
or at least.
let me finish up my things.

i got one whole lot of stuffs to be done.
one whole lot of mess to clear up.
think what.
i everyday stay out very fun ah .?
i trying to prove things and clarify things.
whye no one choose to believe me .?
WTF .!

without my phone ,
im as good as dead .
WTF -.-
sians lahs,
cannot call ppl and complain. ):

recently quite into a few thai songs .
Ruk Sam Sao && Dai Yin Mai
free go youtube search for it ba (:

10:47 PM
愛情沒有對或錯，只有珍惜和錯過。