♥Evonne.O

Tuesday, February 26, 2008Y

GIVE ME SOME BREATHING SPACE PLEASE !

ie seriously need some breathing space .
time & again ppl mistook my intentions .
time & again ppl feel that its always my fault .
have ie not been understand enough ?
have ie not been sensible enough ?
have ie not been caring enough ?
have ie not been obdient enough ?

ue all claimed that ue all understand me .
WTF .
den cant ue all see that everything im doing nw ,
its all to punish myself for dashing ur hopes .
only by destroying myself .
den ie will feel better for dashing ur hopes .
ue all used to say tat ue donte give me pressure .
but did ue all noe tat by telling me all these ,
the pressure which hides beneath is even bigger ?
the pressure which ue all show beneath is so huge .
ie kept telling myself not to dash ur hopes .
budden ie didnt wante to fail my maths .
ie really did put in effort to practise my maths .
donte tell me ue all cant see .!

by making me kneel down infront of all the gods donte do anything .
ie will only know that its my fault ,
denn continue to destroy myself .
ie have faced up to reality .
if im fated to die .
ie will .
ie guess history 's repeating soon .
ie cant take the huge amount of stress .
the hidden amount of pressure everyone's giving me .
ue all claim tat ue all never .
but let me tell ue all .
the hidden amount of pressure its so huge .
huge enough to kill me N times .

ie donte noe which way of explaining will be the best way .
most probably remaing silent & nt explain will be the best .
tats wad ie did just now .
kept silent from the moment MAMA[god-mum] scold me .
all the way till ie reach home .
ie still didnt talk to my mum .
ie feel so tired of explaining .
ie just wante to have a good rest .
maybe a sleep where ie will never wake up will be good .
it will give me ample of rest .
& the peace ie need .
im so sick & tired of explaning .
crying when ppl accuse me .

ie kneel-ed infront of the god just now .
ie was so disappointed .
ie kept asking .
whye must it be me .
whye must ie undertake such huge pressure ?
whye is it that ie m destined to go through more things than others ?
ie once tot my PAPA[god-father] knew me .
WTF .
ie was wrong in my judgement .
adults will forever side with adults .
adults will forever NOT understand us !
they just pretend to understand us .
PAPA ,
im so disappointed can .
ie tot ue would understand how ie feel .
ie tot ue would help me .
ie tot ue would pull me out of this sadness .
BUT ue didnt !
im so sad !
ie just donte understand whye .

if im given a chance ,
ie would choose to be back @ august 2007 .
ie wouldnt have made that call which saved me .
ie wouldnt have said sorry for all those things .
ie should have just slept after the incident .
den the next day ,
evonne ong will not be around anymore .
tats the ultimate aim of everyone .
they feel that ie am irritating .
ie admit ie am at times .
but do ue all understand whye ?
arghh .
nvm .
ue all wonte take the effort to understand anyway .
ie am just wasting my breathe explaining .
so ie shall let everything go .
the past is the past .
my time will be up when its suppose to .
ie just hope it will be faster .
donte let me carry on life anymore please .
im sick & tired !

to : frens who really cared .
thnx for caring .
but ie donte deserve it anymore .
ie made up my mind to give up .
ie will continue with my plans .
ie will do everything ie wante .
before ie leave this world .
ie may sound ridiculous .
but im am seriously not joking anymore .
if ie changed for the worse ,
sorry .

4:24 PM
愛情沒有對或錯，只有珍惜和錯過。